I was a difficult teenager. I was certainly the rebellious type, and was more defient than obedient for a good part of my teenage years. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and I had a constant feeling of hopelessness that I never could explain. In an effort to fit in and find my place I participated in many self destructive behaviors. I remember very clearly my Junior year of highschool being so depressed and empty feeling, that I just didn't want to live anymore. If anyone reading this has suffered from depression, you know its like you are in a dark hole most of the time, unable to see joy at all. It was the darkest place I have ever been. I didn't see the point to my life, I felt like I was lost, without a purpose. Things were falling down around me, and I felt like I had no control over any part of my life. I had lost my grandfather to cancer, and watched as the terrible disease ended his life. I was getting way too involved with people and things that were not good for me in an effort to try to find my place. I eventually got so depressed and felt like my life was spiraling out of control, that I stopped eating. Because eating was something I could control. I became anorexic, and weighed less than 100lbs (96 to be exact). I was going to therapy and seeing my doctor to try to work out whatever it was that was aching inside me. She even threatened to hospitalize me if I didn't start eating and gaining weight. I eventually did start eating again, but it was out of fear of not being able to go to college that scared me into turning around.
Going to college, feeling empty, and insecure is a bad combination. In an effort to feel like I fit in somewhere I joined a sorority and started drinking heavily. It was a weekly occurrence, and many times it was several days in the week where I would go out partying and get drunk with the other sorority sisters and many times, with other fraternities. Every time I did I felt more and more empty the next morning. It didn't exactly give me the feeling of belonging that I had hoped for. Now here is where the Love Story begins. I was literally at my lowest point in life. I was out drinking, again, with my sorority sisters. Apparently my drunkenness got in the way of their partying, and they dropped me off on the floor of a random dorm room. I don't know who it belonged to, but what I do know is it was not mine. I remember lying on the floor on my back and sobbing. I literally cried out to God at that moment and said, "God, I can't live like this anymore. I want to change. I don't know what to do, but I know I can't do this myself. I need your help." I don't remember how I got back to my dorm that night, but I remember very distinctly the words I said to God.
Three days later four people from my dorm hall walked by my room. My door was open and I honestly can't remember exactly what I was doing, but it couldn't have been too important. One of the four that was walking by stuck his head in and said, "hey, we are going to BSU....wanna come?" I honestly didn't have much to do, and had no idea what BSU stood for, but the guy asking was cute, so I went along (don't worry, my husband knows this story, he is actually a big part of it). It took me no time at all to realize once I stepped into the auditorium that BSU stood for Baptist Student Union. They were having a bible study and praise and worship that night. Once the praise and worship service started I was floored at what I saw around me. People were praising God and they were happy about it. They were happy in general. Like, genuinely happy. I didn't sing a single song that night, because I wasn't sure what to make of what I walked into. But there was something that kept me going every week. Even on the weeks the "cute" guy that invited me couldn't go, I still found myself going. Then about a month and a half in, I met my husband. He had been invited by a few of the same people that invited me to come. Except they invited him from his ROTC bible study. He truly invested time in me, and was a major part of me understanding the sacrifice of Christ, and what it meant to be a follower of Jesus. He explained the symbolism of baptism, and how it was just an outward expression of the inward change when you accept Christ as your savior. There was something in his explanation and guidance that really hit home with me and I started going to church with him. The pastor of his church was very knowledgeable and was genuinely excited about the gospel. He actually made a comment about not needing a pulpit because he was always going from one end of the stage to the next. He had a knack for bringing in the college students and military from the base in the neighboring city. I started to feel like I not only belonged somewhere, but felt that I belonged to something very important. I started to see the purpose in life.
February 2004, I gave my life to Christ and chose to follow him for the remainder of my days here on earth. I was baptized on October 10, 2004 in the church Ron and I had been going to together. It ended up being the same church we got married in, in 2005. Many look at Christianity and see nothing but a bunch of boring people, out of touch with the world. I look at my decision to follow Christ and see fulfillment, and purpose. In following Christ, I do not feel out of touch with the world, but determined to serve and love it like Christ did. My life has been many things these past 9 years, but boring certainly isn't one of them.
So here is HIS love story for me. I was on a dangerous path to self destruction, lonely, without purpose, and lost. I called out to him and he sent four people to come get me out of my dorm room, and out of despair, to introduce me to a life of purpose. I am not who I used to be, because now I am a child of the one true king. He gave his life for me, and for all who would accept him, so that our sins will not be counted against us. Because of his sacrifice we can be a new creation in him. We can shed our old life, to live a new life of purpose. There is no sin too great for him to forgive. He came and desires ALL people to be saved (1 Timothy 2:3-4). I have met many people who have accepted Christ who have a hard story before they accepted him. I have spoken to a man who gave his life to Christ after selling drugs on the streets, and is now a pastor of a church here in
So the question is, dear reader, what is your love story? Does it start now? Or do you already have one, and who should you be sharing it with? Who should you be telling about God's amazing grace? What did he save you from that you should not be keeping to yourself?
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